It was a kingdom Cartaphilus had sworn would be constructed on the bodies of Christians, all those who’d pledged allegiance to the man god. The very one he reflects on as he sits alone on a lonely mountain top. We’ll, not alone.
I Am here.
His eyes behold the thousands of torches illuminating the darkness below, all those men we’ve gathered to challenge this so called Savior.
“Great God of Israel, You who created all things. Behold Your servant,” prays Cartaphilus. “I sit here alone, a voice crying in the night, a soul only wanting rest. I have trespassed, committing crimes against You of which no man should ever be forgiven for. It was my hand that struck Your prince, and my words that insulted him when he only spoke peace. Be that if I had known of his glory, I would have severed my hand and cut out my tongue. But to such things, the time has past.”
I watch from a distance as Cartaphilus raises his sight to the heavens above him, counting the many mockeries glowing in the night sky.
“See that Your servant raises an army against the people of Your son, one which will bring much death and despair on the world. Settle Your score now and strike me down so that I do no such thing. Bring forth Your glory and end the days of this world…Along with mine.”
There is silence, the wind the only sound in the night.
“He never answers, does he?” I finally speak.
Cartaphilus turns to find Me standing in the evening breeze, My bronze skin glowing by the light of the moon.
My fine linen garments flicker to one side, gracefully revealing My tantalizing form on the other. Her pitch hair barely hide My angelic face, as it joins in the night’s chill. If not for the fact of him knowing Me, Cartaphilus would be hypnotized by My unrivaled beauty. Instead, the immortal turns away, his heart heavy by the truthfulness of My words.
Still, I glide to his side, taking a seat on the ground beside him. Then glancing below us, I smile at the souls engulfing the land below.
“Look at them,” I beckon poor Cartaphilus. “They live for such a small amount of time, and yet their minds conjure schemes which would take an eternity to see realized.”
“For all their great schemes, they have yet to comprehend the true meaning of life,” he rebuttals.
“And you have?”
Cartaphilus takes a deep breath, releasing it along with his frustrations. “When you have been a prisoner to life for long as I have, you have nothing but time to ponder such a question.”
I grimace at the implication that he dares to think he has more experience than Me.
“I have lived far longer than you, Cartophilus,” I make sure to remind him.
“Yes, but you are not human.”
The words stab Me, forcing My flaring gold eyes to look up at him.
“Pardon my words, Mistress. I meant no wrong,” he quickly saves his ass.
It takes a short while for Me to subdue My injury, finally returning to the conversation with an uncomfortable shift in My seating.
“So, what is the answer you have come up with?” I ask.
“The true meaning of life,” I remind. “What is your answer?”
Cartaphilus lowers his head, a smile rising on his face as a reply plays in his head.
I stare at him, and I can tell that he has given up.
His reply is all the proof I need for such a realization. My eyes examine him, his skin, body, his burdened face and can see that he is dying. Not physically, but spiritually. It is a feeling I had once known all too well, to be cast out of paradise, making you an aimless stranger to His love.
He’d betrayed Me too, after all.
“I have never encountered a soul such as yours,” I admit.
Cartaphilus’ gaze is once more upon My glory.
“Everyone I have ever come across has wanted love, holding onto life with all their strength. Yet, here you are, wanting to die, but made to live forever.”
Cartaphilus chuckles, his shoulders remaining low from his burden.
“And You, Mistress? What is it you have been plagued with as your curse?”
I actually heave a heavy sigh, turning My golden gaze towards the moon above us.
“The loss of My one true friend,” I reply. “The only one who ever truly cared.”
My voice is shaken for a moment, exposing a weakness Cartaphilus instantly notices.
He sees the single tear of blood travel down My unblemished cheek, staining Me with its crimson. But he doesn’t pull away. Instead, Cartaphilus gently brushes it away with a gentle touch, allowing Me to caress his touch with My cheek.
“It has been a long life for me, Lilith,” he says softly. “Allow me to enjoy these last few moments in Your embrace.”
Our embrace comes naturally, drawing us closer to each other in but a breath. For the first time that I can remember, I have no alterior motive for allowing a man to get close to Me. Warm breaths escaping our mouths, simply until our kiss engulfs us in absolute bliss. This is all I crave.
Gently, we lay to the ground, our condemned souls yearning to be one with each other. Cartaphilus’ arm sweeps underneath My back, holding Me close to his chest, allowing Me to feel the beating of the heart he still possesses. I Am visibly shaken by the feeling, and he shushes away any fright.
His kiss is endless, the connection between us growing with each and every fleeting moment. The sensation forces Me to break free if his lips, leaning My head back to expose the lustful arch of My neck.
Cartaphilus examines it with hungry eyes, licking it to taste My skin. I Am sweet, a flavor he could engulf himself in for all eternity by the way he groans into My ear. I relish in its delightful rumble, and the feeling of him nibbling ever so softly on Me arouses My every nerve.
I take hold of his hand and guide it between My thighs, revealing the living silk awaiting him.
He has to have Me. He has to possess Me. He has to need me. I so decree it be so.
Cartaphilus’ burly finger force past the tightness of My smooth entry, drawing a long drawn out moan from within Me. He then pushes it in deeper as I roll My hips in response, My eyes wild when looking into his. Of course, Cartaphilus smiles, again placing his lips on Mine and kissing Me.
I breathe heavily, My hips constantly twirling beneath his touch, clinching his
fingers with each sway. Wisely, Cartaphilus doesn’t ease his intrusion, forcing Me to submit to My surging emotions.
I grind My teeth, My golden stare focuses on the culprit behind My invasion. My hands then grip his tunic, yanking him closer to Me.
“Sing for me, milady” he whispers between his teeth biting softly at my lips. “Sing for me.”
I don’t want to follow his command, so instead I whimper in defiance. But that only makes Cartaphilus deepen his assault, finally drawing out the sound he’s been desiring to hear.
The sound of a Queen weeping, as she succumbs to his power over Her.
I understand all too well what has happened, but can’t care less. Cartaphilus makes Me feel something I haven’t felt in centuries.
I at last quiet Myself, grinning at the man looking down at Me.
Yes, indeed. I, Lilith, The Queen, The Mistress…Goddess am actually beneath him. And it is there I choose to remain for the rest of the night. We two Fallen sharing each other as we are and will further, there’s no need to steal Cartaphilus’ soul, not that I can even if I wanted to. Besides, he’d probably just hand it over to Me freely anyway if he could?
None of that matters however. Cartaphilus allows Me to feel that which I have thought lost to Me for so many eons, and that alone is worthy of My leniency.
For now, anyway.
Lilith’s Journal (A Tale of the Fallen: Lilith coming soon)
© Grace Charles